Awww, I love Cary Grant. He is dreamy, and funny, and dreamy, and also he is dreamy. Stivo LeTivo and I have an understanding, where he records Cary Grant's films, and then I watch them. Last night was Notorious (Which explains why the song is stuck in my head.)
So, the rundown: Cary Grant is an American agent during world war two, who recruits Ingrid Bergman to spy on Germans in Brazil. Being all sexy and aloof, Ingrid falls in love with him and pretty much does whatever he says... or doesn't say, including marrying the man she is sent to spy on. Then Ingrid gets poisoned, Grant gets more sexy and worried, and he saves her, yay!
This movie is, on a scale from not awesome to totally awesome, fairly awesome. Hitchcock directed it, and I generally like his movies (Not psycho though. That movie bothers me.) The story moves quickly, the script doesn't make me cringe, and Cary Grant is sexy. Watch it.
Oh! One more thing. Why is Hitchcock into scary moms? Have you ever noticed that? I did.
Oh Oh! One more thing after that other one more thing. Have you ever watched an Indian movie? The kissing/ nuzzling scenes in this movie are similar to what you would see in a Bollywood flick. Just you wait people of India, in another 75 year or so, you will be drenched in the filth, making Harold and Kumar 32 or something. At that point, American movies will be all nude all the time.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanimo Bay
A few things you should know about me; I think penis jokes are funny, I love NPH, and I can love a movie without thinking it is any good.
A prime example of my wrong love is Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay. It had insanely stupid plot devices, no real story, and I had the strange sense of Deja Vu while watching it. That said, I loved it. I love cock meat sandwiches... the idea, not the lunch meat product. I think the scene lasted a little too long, but I am sure Polly and I will be joking about cock meat sandwiches for years to come.
Speaking of Polly, it has come to my attention that we do not know the lyrics to that "My dick" song. We need to memorize that.
Kumar and I both hero worship NPH. Probably because of his high levels of awesome. They are like miticlorians only less lame and more awesome. Rob "formerly of Daily Show" and I also have something in common, we both saw "Starship fucking Troopers." Polly doesn't understand the greatness of that movie. NPH plays a genius who takes pleasure in killing giant bugs. NPH is always a genius though. Always. He goes where god takes him. God, when he was shot I cried. That is pretty much when the movie ended for me.
Some other highlights:
Scary grape soda hating orthodontists and glorious pee pees!! Oh god,blumpkins! Can't forget the blumpkins.
Lowlights:
The ending. It had no NPH, therefore nothing to look forward to. Also it had GW Bush, and even though he was integral to H and K busting up the wedding of K's faceless, nameless former love and re-winning her heart, I still think he didn't need to be there.
Final assertion:
It is all well and good to make a weed movie for potheads, but please, for the love of all that is holy, do not try to stick an actual plot in. The marijuana addled viewing public cannot keep track of the points, and really, it just ruins the film. Also, NEVER KILL NPH AGAIN!
A prime example of my wrong love is Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay. It had insanely stupid plot devices, no real story, and I had the strange sense of Deja Vu while watching it. That said, I loved it. I love cock meat sandwiches... the idea, not the lunch meat product. I think the scene lasted a little too long, but I am sure Polly and I will be joking about cock meat sandwiches for years to come.
Speaking of Polly, it has come to my attention that we do not know the lyrics to that "My dick" song. We need to memorize that.
Kumar and I both hero worship NPH. Probably because of his high levels of awesome. They are like miticlorians only less lame and more awesome. Rob "formerly of Daily Show" and I also have something in common, we both saw "Starship fucking Troopers." Polly doesn't understand the greatness of that movie. NPH plays a genius who takes pleasure in killing giant bugs. NPH is always a genius though. Always. He goes where god takes him. God, when he was shot I cried. That is pretty much when the movie ended for me.
Some other highlights:
Scary grape soda hating orthodontists and glorious pee pees!! Oh god,blumpkins! Can't forget the blumpkins.
Lowlights:
The ending. It had no NPH, therefore nothing to look forward to. Also it had GW Bush, and even though he was integral to H and K busting up the wedding of K's faceless, nameless former love and re-winning her heart, I still think he didn't need to be there.
Final assertion:
It is all well and good to make a weed movie for potheads, but please, for the love of all that is holy, do not try to stick an actual plot in. The marijuana addled viewing public cannot keep track of the points, and really, it just ruins the film. Also, NEVER KILL NPH AGAIN!
Jumper
This movie was exactly what Polly promised it would be... 80 minutes long. The easy to manage length was all it really had going for it. Here is the re-cap, originally sent to Polly in an e-mail and inspiring this whole adventure in blogging:
The main problem was the speed at which everything progressed. I think they spent too much time on back story in proportion to the action. All of a sudden he was fucking that slut Bilson in Rome, then he was fighting Sammy j in Tokyo, then he and Billy were on the same side then on different sides then the same then different, and then Sammy j is in the grand canyon and Anikin and slutty Bilson are off to live a carefree existence.
After further discussion with Polly, it was brought to my attention that I missed one key element of this movie. Billy's hair was actually quite fantastic and turned in an amazing performance. It wasn't as good as when he danced, but still, adorable. In Polly's words, "The hair was Mosbyesque."
The main problem was the speed at which everything progressed. I think they spent too much time on back story in proportion to the action. All of a sudden he was fucking that slut Bilson in Rome, then he was fighting Sammy j in Tokyo, then he and Billy were on the same side then on different sides then the same then different, and then Sammy j is in the grand canyon and Anikin and slutty Bilson are off to live a carefree existence.
After further discussion with Polly, it was brought to my attention that I missed one key element of this movie. Billy's hair was actually quite fantastic and turned in an amazing performance. It wasn't as good as when he danced, but still, adorable. In Polly's words, "The hair was Mosbyesque."
Welcome to my Blog
This blog came about because I was able to describe the movie, Jumper, to my friend Polly using relatively few words. It was then that I discovered my talent for remembering the names of the actor's most famous parts, but not their current character names, and boiling everything down into a witless, yet no nonsense, play by play of events. This, coupled with the fact that I just upgraded to a much more exciting cable package including movie channels (movin' on up), means that I can now ruin all of your favorite movies!
Enjoy... or don't. It seems highly unlikely that I will do this with any sort of regularity or whatever. I am bored already.
Enjoy... or don't. It seems highly unlikely that I will do this with any sort of regularity or whatever. I am bored already.
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